Okay, so first off...Happy 3-months old Nyomi Arie!! [as I exhale and cringe at the same time]
We have made it through the earliest rough patches...our biggest concerns right now are the enormous and almost sudden growth spurts, and this horrific, old-lady who ate collard greens, gas!
Nyomi is definitely the happiest baby on the block! She smiles all the time, and still greets me every morning with a big "Hi again mommy, I missed you!" grin. And then she proceeds to undressing my top half with her eyes!! LOLOL. I am SO serious. Breastfeeding (BF) is one of the greatest decisions I could have made for her, but sometimes, I wish I had not....let me count the ways. Oh please! Don't judge me! I will continue to BF [gosh] but here's why sometimes I wish I wasn't BF:
1) Anyone could feed her at ANY time;
2) I could take an overnight trip...well technically, I could.
3) She would not attack random people's chest when hungry;
All in all, as previously stated, it's the best decision I've made. BF, although not for everyone, has been proven to protect infants much better than formula. Your baby will gain immunity from certain germs through your breast milk! In addition, a book I'm reading's research showed that cow's milk--with all its additives and hormones fed to cows, is actually linked to allergies, asthma, and [dun dun dun] ADHD!
I believe a baby will bond with its mother regardless of how he/she is fed, but breastfeeding is just as much about the mother bonding with baby as baby with mother. Last but not least, for those who care less about the previous statements, BF is simply cheaper!
Anyway, enough with my rant...I love doing it, and enjoy the feeling of being needed. When Nyomi smells me, no one else will do! LOL. When I see her, I have a physiological reaction...erm...details not needed. Let's just say, my body instinctively says, that's your baby, she's growing and healthy because of what you provide to her!
Time is flying by so fast! Christmas is coming, which means only a few more weeks till Nyomi is 4 months old. Sometimes I gag at my own self for how everything revolves around Nyomi. LOL. I can't talk about ANYTHING without relating it to her. I'm still on my babymoon, and I like it!
Once again, back to the topic I was trying to make it to; Christmas is approaching, and I can't wait to get to GA to see my family! I've booked me and Nyomi's flight, and am sitting here imagining how I'll have to pack to accommodate both of us.
Before, I could throw a few favorites in the bag and go. Now...I must be well prepared, in advance, to have a good trip, even to the grocery store. LOL. We'll make it. Hopefully I don't do something silly like put her pampers in the suitcase to be stored under the plane! LOL. Been there, done that, had the uncomfortable baby and neighbors to show for it. Bless your heart Tionne, Auntie didn't have a clue.
Nyomi's first flight will be a success, and we will have a great time in GA. I CAN'T WAIT! Can you tell I'm excited?
Until next time, spend time only with people who make you smile, even if it means spending time alone.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Got love???
Happy 2 months old Nyomi!!
If every month means we're making leaps and bounds as this past month, then we're gucci baby! LOL. Yes, I said gucci. I don't really talk like that, but you get my drift.
Nyomi is the best baby ever! She is getting so much better with car rides, and the car seat in general, not having to be held all day, and going to sleep on a regular schedule. You should hear this little lady when it's time for her to be sleeping and I've got her doing something else. My baby is definitely a creature of habit, and that works for me!
She is smiling genuinely (not just gassy grins) and greets me with a smile EVERY morning. Part of me knows it's because she knows I'm her food source. LOL. But the other day, I caught her staring intently at my face. I looked her in the eyes and smiled, she smiled back. My heart swelled to a bigger size, and I realized, this baby, who doesn't yet understand what the word love means, definitely knows what the feeling of love is.
These are the times that I will get unadulterated, pure, honest love from her. She doesn't yet have a long term memory, so those times where I wait too long to feed her, or clumsily put her clothes on, or don't realize she needs to burp--again, are all long forgotten seconds after they happen. And as soon as mommy makes it right, she looks up at me and smiles this cute toothless grin, that lets me know she loves me still flaws and all; and I love her right back!!
Thank God her memory is not so great right now, because 2 month old shots are right around the corner, on Tuesday. I'm not ready...so not ready. But just like pregnancy and birth and these past 2 months--I'll face it like a woman, and remember that it too shall pass!
Until next time, greet someone in pure, simple, love--give them a smile!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
And the beat goes Boom---Ba Boom Ba Boom
Yo! It's officially been a month (30 days) of being a mother...and I'm still alive! Yep, through sleep deprivation and being everything to my daughter, including her nutrition, I am yet alive!
I will not lie, it's been pretty hard! Probably--no, definitely--the most challenging thing I've yet to endure in my lifetime...it's been so hardcore, that my birthday came and went, and I wouldn't have noticed (or cared) were it not for the amazing people in my life. Those women who told me I'd survive, were right...but few shed light on the "in between" of delivery and now.
It must be the same selective memory that allows women (present company included) to not remember the physical pain of childbirth. Most of my labor I can describe aptly with words...but there came a point where words were not a good fit to describe the physical feeling I endured. See...I had to call it a "feeling," because pain or pressure just doesn't do it justice! LOL.
Anyhoo...all in all, Nyomi and I have had a good first 30 days. Thank God SHE is still alive. LOL. She seems to be a pro at everything she does...eating, sleeping, wailing, pooping;, and stealing every heart she encounters. It's me who is the amateur. :-)
She is progressing steadily though. She holds her head up (being nosy), is very alert and responsive to sound and faces; she even checks out the scenery around her! She is babbling already, and I receive a genuine smile on the regular now!
AND, today, on 3 separate occasions, she has gone (and stayed) to sleep with no help like a big girl! I mean no rocking, not during nursing, no tears! I am impressed and grateful for the reprieve. We must be nearing a milestone marker or something. Even if not, it shows me that it can be done! As my sister (and a complete stranger today) told me, "Give it a few more months and things will be so much easier. You will breathe and enjoy being a mom!"
In spite of the lack of sleep, the sore nipples, the frustration because I can't seem to console her, every morning I wake up, look over, and thank God for her. Not because I wouldn't have it any other way, but because I was entrusted with such an extraordinarily precious life! If that doesn't make a person stand taller and want to be better, nothing will!!!
Until next time, remember, it will all get better in time; and you should too!
I will not lie, it's been pretty hard! Probably--no, definitely--the most challenging thing I've yet to endure in my lifetime...it's been so hardcore, that my birthday came and went, and I wouldn't have noticed (or cared) were it not for the amazing people in my life. Those women who told me I'd survive, were right...but few shed light on the "in between" of delivery and now.
It must be the same selective memory that allows women (present company included) to not remember the physical pain of childbirth. Most of my labor I can describe aptly with words...but there came a point where words were not a good fit to describe the physical feeling I endured. See...I had to call it a "feeling," because pain or pressure just doesn't do it justice! LOL.
Anyhoo...all in all, Nyomi and I have had a good first 30 days. Thank God SHE is still alive. LOL. She seems to be a pro at everything she does...eating, sleeping, wailing, pooping;, and stealing every heart she encounters. It's me who is the amateur. :-)
She is progressing steadily though. She holds her head up (being nosy), is very alert and responsive to sound and faces; she even checks out the scenery around her! She is babbling already, and I receive a genuine smile on the regular now!
AND, today, on 3 separate occasions, she has gone (and stayed) to sleep with no help like a big girl! I mean no rocking, not during nursing, no tears! I am impressed and grateful for the reprieve. We must be nearing a milestone marker or something. Even if not, it shows me that it can be done! As my sister (and a complete stranger today) told me, "Give it a few more months and things will be so much easier. You will breathe and enjoy being a mom!"
In spite of the lack of sleep, the sore nipples, the frustration because I can't seem to console her, every morning I wake up, look over, and thank God for her. Not because I wouldn't have it any other way, but because I was entrusted with such an extraordinarily precious life! If that doesn't make a person stand taller and want to be better, nothing will!!!
Until next time, remember, it will all get better in time; and you should too!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Nyomi's Birth Story
On September 10th, a highly magnanimous event took place: Nyomi Arie Williams graced us with her presence outside of the womb! Here's my birth story; I hope you enjoy!!
My due date was Friday 9/7. On 9/6, I cried and cried, because I had absolutely no labor pains, and just knew my daughter would come a week or so late. I barely started having braxton hicks a week or so before the due date. Anyhoo, After crying, my mind said, "hey, you need to keep busy and make sure you're prepared, just in case." So, I cooked everything in my freezer into meals and froze them for later!
On Friday 9/7, I cried once again, because my due date had come and still not even a small sign of labor. I wanted something! Pain even, to let me know she would be here soon...
On Sunday morning, I woke up around 7:30 am and started watching internet T.V. I noticed cramping, very similar to period pain, but honestly didn't give it a second thought, since the pains were very mild; nothing to even complain about. I got up at 10 a.m. and got ready for church. On Facebook, I posted a pic in my get up and said "Hopefully my last Sunday pregnant." By the time the church service ended, my "pains" which were identified as contractions by Mrs. Tangi aka "Gma", were a teeny bit more intense, but still, nothing to pause about.
My dad and Gma wanted to go to dinner with me, so we went to a buffet. Yummy...I got good and full. By this time, Gma was timing my contractions. They were 20 mins apart. We finished eating roughly 3:00 pm, and she suggested we go walking in the mall. So she and I met around 4:30 pm and walked through the mall for a bit over an hour. By the time I left the mall, the contractions were 10 mins apart, but still mild! I'm thinking to myself...I must be in VERY early labor...yet, I was still super excited.
I called my best friend, who would also be my main support person in delivery and told her what was going on. She decided to grab a bag and come on over "just in case." When she got there, I downplayed it, and was like, "Girl, no need to rush over here...I don't think it's happening today." My contractions were now consistently at 5 minutes apart. But they were so mild, I was in disbelief of being in labor.
My friend said, "Better safe than sorry."
I said "I don't wanna get sent home."
Called my mom and she said "Go to the hospital; all 5 of my births were VERY fast. You may take after me."
I whined and said "But I don't wanna get sent home!"
Called my grandmother, and she said, "Baby, it's your first baby, you better get to the hospital, because you don't know what your body is going to do!"
Finally, I said, "Fine. But let's not rush."
My best friend and I both took showers, got last minute things, and headed to the hospital.
We joked the entire way...got to triage, which was absolutely empty! I told my friend, "Aha, I see why Nyomi (daughter) didn't come Friday, she knew Sunday would be very light in traffic, and of course she wanted all eyes and ears on her!" LOL.
We went to get checked by the nurse, and by this time, I had to breathe through contractions, but was still having a great time joking with my best friend in between. The doctor came in around 9:00 pm and checked my cervix. In my head I'm thinking, "please be at least 2 cm dilated, please!?"
The doctor looked amazed and said "Wow, you're a first time mom?? I'm impressed! You are 4-5 cm dilated and your cervix feels amazing!"
My friend and I started clapping and chanting! There would be no going home for me! I thought to myself, "Sheesh if I'm halfway there, and this is all the pain I feel, I'm gravy!!"
~Cue ironic music here~
1-2 hours later, I am comfortably in a room, have already expressed my birth plan wishes to my main nurse, taken my stress test, and am free to move about the room and the wing. My birth plan was simple: No epidural, skin to skin immediately after birth, and to delay cord clamping until after cord stops pulsing.
My bestie and I went for a short-lived walk. I had to use the restroom. So we went back to the room. This is when things got "REAL."
I started having actual pressure and discomfort with my contractions, and was not even able to joke in between. They were definitely a lot closer together, and it took more focus to breathe through them. The nurse came in to check on me, and asked if I'd like to take a warm bath. That sounded like heaven to me! But first, she checked me. I was 7 cm dilated! "OMG," I thought, "It's really happening. I'm about to have a baby!" From that moment on, I just made sure to focus in my mind and repeat my mantra; "this is productive pain."
My due date was Friday 9/7. On 9/6, I cried and cried, because I had absolutely no labor pains, and just knew my daughter would come a week or so late. I barely started having braxton hicks a week or so before the due date. Anyhoo, After crying, my mind said, "hey, you need to keep busy and make sure you're prepared, just in case." So, I cooked everything in my freezer into meals and froze them for later!
On Friday 9/7, I cried once again, because my due date had come and still not even a small sign of labor. I wanted something! Pain even, to let me know she would be here soon...
On Sunday morning, I woke up around 7:30 am and started watching internet T.V. I noticed cramping, very similar to period pain, but honestly didn't give it a second thought, since the pains were very mild; nothing to even complain about. I got up at 10 a.m. and got ready for church. On Facebook, I posted a pic in my get up and said "Hopefully my last Sunday pregnant." By the time the church service ended, my "pains" which were identified as contractions by Mrs. Tangi aka "Gma", were a teeny bit more intense, but still, nothing to pause about.
My dad and Gma wanted to go to dinner with me, so we went to a buffet. Yummy...I got good and full. By this time, Gma was timing my contractions. They were 20 mins apart. We finished eating roughly 3:00 pm, and she suggested we go walking in the mall. So she and I met around 4:30 pm and walked through the mall for a bit over an hour. By the time I left the mall, the contractions were 10 mins apart, but still mild! I'm thinking to myself...I must be in VERY early labor...yet, I was still super excited.
I called my best friend, who would also be my main support person in delivery and told her what was going on. She decided to grab a bag and come on over "just in case." When she got there, I downplayed it, and was like, "Girl, no need to rush over here...I don't think it's happening today." My contractions were now consistently at 5 minutes apart. But they were so mild, I was in disbelief of being in labor.
My friend said, "Better safe than sorry."
I said "I don't wanna get sent home."
Called my mom and she said "Go to the hospital; all 5 of my births were VERY fast. You may take after me."
I whined and said "But I don't wanna get sent home!"
Called my grandmother, and she said, "Baby, it's your first baby, you better get to the hospital, because you don't know what your body is going to do!"
Finally, I said, "Fine. But let's not rush."
My best friend and I both took showers, got last minute things, and headed to the hospital.
We joked the entire way...got to triage, which was absolutely empty! I told my friend, "Aha, I see why Nyomi (daughter) didn't come Friday, she knew Sunday would be very light in traffic, and of course she wanted all eyes and ears on her!" LOL.
We went to get checked by the nurse, and by this time, I had to breathe through contractions, but was still having a great time joking with my best friend in between. The doctor came in around 9:00 pm and checked my cervix. In my head I'm thinking, "please be at least 2 cm dilated, please!?"
The doctor looked amazed and said "Wow, you're a first time mom?? I'm impressed! You are 4-5 cm dilated and your cervix feels amazing!"
My friend and I started clapping and chanting! There would be no going home for me! I thought to myself, "Sheesh if I'm halfway there, and this is all the pain I feel, I'm gravy!!"
~Cue ironic music here~
1-2 hours later, I am comfortably in a room, have already expressed my birth plan wishes to my main nurse, taken my stress test, and am free to move about the room and the wing. My birth plan was simple: No epidural, skin to skin immediately after birth, and to delay cord clamping until after cord stops pulsing.
My bestie and I went for a short-lived walk. I had to use the restroom. So we went back to the room. This is when things got "REAL."
I started having actual pressure and discomfort with my contractions, and was not even able to joke in between. They were definitely a lot closer together, and it took more focus to breathe through them. The nurse came in to check on me, and asked if I'd like to take a warm bath. That sounded like heaven to me! But first, she checked me. I was 7 cm dilated! "OMG," I thought, "It's really happening. I'm about to have a baby!" From that moment on, I just made sure to focus in my mind and repeat my mantra; "this is productive pain."
Shortly after going over my mantra, I mentioned getting an epidural. LOL! My nurse waved me off and said, "You're almost to the finish line. Let's have this bath!"
I was in the tub for "it seemed" about 20 mins before I went into transition! In reality, I think it was at least double that time. I could barely breathe through the contractions, but my bestie was a GREAT help. She kept reminding me to breathe and breathed with me, and kept bringing my focus back to "good & productive pain." She even rubbed my back as I'm naked in the tub...that's a TRUE friend indeed! LOL
At this point, I point-blank asked for an epidural! LOL!! I was delirious. It was not so much "pain" I was experiencing, but soooo much pressure! I told the nurse "I've got to push!" She said "Oh, I think it's time for someone to get out of the tub!"
I literally thought to myself, "What are you so darn cheery about!?" LOL. I made it out of the tub, and got in the bed. I was at my wits end now...so quickly after the contractions being manageable just 20 mins before. My doctor and 50 nurses "it seemed" ran in after hearing my wailing. It was literally about 10 people that came in. I was flailing from side to side in pain! I screamed "get her out of meeeee!" LOL.
Then as if on cue, my water broke, GUSH! OMG, it felt like heaven. Better than any feeling I've felt before; LOL. I told the doctor "my water broke." No sooner had I gotten it out of my mouth, another contraction rolled over me, and the rest of my water gushed out.
I screamed "I'm gonna push." My friend and another nurse grabbed a hand and soothed me back from the edge. I was ready to jump off in the deep end! The doctor got my focus, encouraged me, then said "You have to focus. We have to work together. You've done so great this far, but we can't push just yet. We're not ready." Where is this "we" coming from?? LOL! The nurses were now in action breaking down the bed for delivery.
The doctor gave me instructions on how and when to push. I repeated the directions to her...this was to keep me focused and sane. When the next contraction hit (2 seconds later), I was pushing! The pushing was the best feeling in the world. It felt so right, and was not painful...it was literally so right. The nurses and Dr. egged me on, and someone said "ok, breathe through the ring of fire." I thought to myself, what ring of fire; I felt nothing unique about the moment her head crowned. It felt like the next natural step in the process.
3 contractions and 9 pushes later, in au naturale style, Nyomi Arie Williams was born @ 1:25am!! When she slipped out, I felt a relief like no other. My adrenaline was on an all time high, and I started yelling "OMG, that was AMAZING! You guys did a great job! OMG, she's perfect!" LOL.
10 days later...
I was in the tub for "it seemed" about 20 mins before I went into transition! In reality, I think it was at least double that time. I could barely breathe through the contractions, but my bestie was a GREAT help. She kept reminding me to breathe and breathed with me, and kept bringing my focus back to "good & productive pain." She even rubbed my back as I'm naked in the tub...that's a TRUE friend indeed! LOL
At this point, I point-blank asked for an epidural! LOL!! I was delirious. It was not so much "pain" I was experiencing, but soooo much pressure! I told the nurse "I've got to push!" She said "Oh, I think it's time for someone to get out of the tub!"
I literally thought to myself, "What are you so darn cheery about!?" LOL. I made it out of the tub, and got in the bed. I was at my wits end now...so quickly after the contractions being manageable just 20 mins before. My doctor and 50 nurses "it seemed" ran in after hearing my wailing. It was literally about 10 people that came in. I was flailing from side to side in pain! I screamed "get her out of meeeee!" LOL.
Then as if on cue, my water broke, GUSH! OMG, it felt like heaven. Better than any feeling I've felt before; LOL. I told the doctor "my water broke." No sooner had I gotten it out of my mouth, another contraction rolled over me, and the rest of my water gushed out.
I screamed "I'm gonna push." My friend and another nurse grabbed a hand and soothed me back from the edge. I was ready to jump off in the deep end! The doctor got my focus, encouraged me, then said "You have to focus. We have to work together. You've done so great this far, but we can't push just yet. We're not ready." Where is this "we" coming from?? LOL! The nurses were now in action breaking down the bed for delivery.
The doctor gave me instructions on how and when to push. I repeated the directions to her...this was to keep me focused and sane. When the next contraction hit (2 seconds later), I was pushing! The pushing was the best feeling in the world. It felt so right, and was not painful...it was literally so right. The nurses and Dr. egged me on, and someone said "ok, breathe through the ring of fire." I thought to myself, what ring of fire; I felt nothing unique about the moment her head crowned. It felt like the next natural step in the process.
3 contractions and 9 pushes later, in au naturale style, Nyomi Arie Williams was born @ 1:25am!! When she slipped out, I felt a relief like no other. My adrenaline was on an all time high, and I started yelling "OMG, that was AMAZING! You guys did a great job! OMG, she's perfect!" LOL.
10 days later...
She's still as perfect as can be! Eating good, sleeping REAL good on her "own" time, and having me sleep deprived. What more can I ask for?
Until next time... remember there is nothing to fear, but fear itself!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Planning & Preparation
So, I'm sitting here seemingly bored to death! Maternity leave has kicked in, and I'm just waiting for baby to make her grand entrance into the world. I went to the doctor yesterday, and although my due date is Friday, there is no action people! NO ACTION. OMG, that hurt my feelings to hear, but I am taking it one day at a time, and trying not to rush her.
I'm sure she is enjoying being on her own time, for the LAST time, in her life. LOL.
So, in the meantime, my brain is going a mile a minute! I'm thinking about all the things I have completed in preparation for her, but of course my mind is being plagued with all the things I "hear" or "imagine" I must do in the near future. So, instead of sitting here bored, I've decided to do a few things to make my life a bit easier after her arrival.
1) Making prepared meals and freezing them: I'm actually pretty excited to spend my entire day tomorrow cooking! I was just thinking about how my veggies will go bad if I don't cook them soon. So, here's a way I can kill 2 birds with one stone, and save myself some hunger pains later. Yes, yes, my mom will be here the first couple of weeks to cook for me, but when she leaves...then what?
2) Practicing taking naps: Ha! This is a no-brainer, but actually something I haven't done in years! Taking a nap actually seems like a waste of time to me; I'd rather stay up past when I feel tired, and go to bed at night. However, I realize baby won't be on my normal sleeping schedule for a while, so I better get used to sleeping when she does. So, when my body says it's tired, I'm sleeping! It's not like I have work to do...sigh.
3) Picking up each time I mess up: Now, for those of you living alone, you know that you can pick up when ya want to; isn't it grand!?! My apartment can no longer be maintained like this, since I'll have extra to clean up. So, I'm practicing picking up, throwing away, washing/rinsing...doing anything in the form of cleaning immediately, instead of saving it for a "cleaning day." I'm sure this will come in handy, according to all the recent mommies I know.
Last, but not least...
4) Not sweating the small stuff: Anyone who's been around me for a lil bit will tell you, I'm a little OCD about the weirdest things; and it irks me to no end when I can't control things. Well, my first lesson in being a mom is understood, even if not completely accepted yet. I just can't worry about things beyond my control. So what she's not here on my schedule, gotta get over it. Can't get mad when she doesn't sleep when I want her to, or she ruins a cute outfit by spitting up, or she goes through 15 diapers in a day. C'est la vie, as the french say it, and this life is all mine.
Number 4, especially, is a challenge, but I believe this is the time in my life where I'll either learn patience, or never get a grasp on it. No in between there. For my child's sake, I pray I learn patience! :-)
Until next time, remember the glass is half full, rather than half empty. Don't drink too fast, and before you know it, your refill will have arrived!
I'm sure she is enjoying being on her own time, for the LAST time, in her life. LOL.
So, in the meantime, my brain is going a mile a minute! I'm thinking about all the things I have completed in preparation for her, but of course my mind is being plagued with all the things I "hear" or "imagine" I must do in the near future. So, instead of sitting here bored, I've decided to do a few things to make my life a bit easier after her arrival.
1) Making prepared meals and freezing them: I'm actually pretty excited to spend my entire day tomorrow cooking! I was just thinking about how my veggies will go bad if I don't cook them soon. So, here's a way I can kill 2 birds with one stone, and save myself some hunger pains later. Yes, yes, my mom will be here the first couple of weeks to cook for me, but when she leaves...then what?
2) Practicing taking naps: Ha! This is a no-brainer, but actually something I haven't done in years! Taking a nap actually seems like a waste of time to me; I'd rather stay up past when I feel tired, and go to bed at night. However, I realize baby won't be on my normal sleeping schedule for a while, so I better get used to sleeping when she does. So, when my body says it's tired, I'm sleeping! It's not like I have work to do...sigh.
3) Picking up each time I mess up: Now, for those of you living alone, you know that you can pick up when ya want to; isn't it grand!?! My apartment can no longer be maintained like this, since I'll have extra to clean up. So, I'm practicing picking up, throwing away, washing/rinsing...doing anything in the form of cleaning immediately, instead of saving it for a "cleaning day." I'm sure this will come in handy, according to all the recent mommies I know.
Last, but not least...
4) Not sweating the small stuff: Anyone who's been around me for a lil bit will tell you, I'm a little OCD about the weirdest things; and it irks me to no end when I can't control things. Well, my first lesson in being a mom is understood, even if not completely accepted yet. I just can't worry about things beyond my control. So what she's not here on my schedule, gotta get over it. Can't get mad when she doesn't sleep when I want her to, or she ruins a cute outfit by spitting up, or she goes through 15 diapers in a day. C'est la vie, as the french say it, and this life is all mine.
Number 4, especially, is a challenge, but I believe this is the time in my life where I'll either learn patience, or never get a grasp on it. No in between there. For my child's sake, I pray I learn patience! :-)
Until next time, remember the glass is half full, rather than half empty. Don't drink too fast, and before you know it, your refill will have arrived!
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Let's Go!!!
Ahem....let me clear my throat for this one. "I AM READY!"
Ready for what, you say?
Ready to meet this little one inside of me, ready to take on the challenge of labor, ready to hand over any thought of attention to her, ready to clean up messes, ready to be overwhelmed with pride, joy, love, and maybe even disappointment sometimes. In a nutshell, I am ready to share my world.
I could not have said that this time last year or the year before that...I was definitely not in a place to completely share my world...the most people got were bits and pieces when it was convenient for me...*This is the part where the picture becomes like water, indicating a memory is about to be replayed*
This time in 2010 I was having the time of my life in South Korea! I was living it up, as they say. I was a card-carrying member of the Rainbow Coalition (if you are privy you know how WE do). This time last year, I was planning my next adventure...and starring in my very own reality TV show (ya know the kind that we find out later is staged?) LOL.
Do I miss it? Well, duh! Would I trade in my current situation to go back? In a heartbeat. Do I regret where I am now? Absolutely not!
Although I have embraced and really gotten used to the fact that I will soon (as in less than a week, hopefully) be a full-time, single mommy, I do not dare seek asylum behind the thought process of "I wouldn't trade it for the world!" I can't stand to hear people say that. Yes, the amazing person inside of me has brought me to a higher place in life; mentally, but my more matured mind also acknowledges that if I could have it any other way, this is not how I would craft my life right now.
If anything, I'd ask for a do-over and do things the right way...i.e. love, marriage, baby carriage. But even more than that, I'd first be heading "back" to another country to see more of the world, and experience more adventures. The difference in my current adventure is that I don't get to choose to leave; I'm a mommy, and will forever be a mommy. Not the worst thing I could be right? Some things come to mind like, crack-whore, bum, liar, pessimistic, narcissistic, etc. LOL.
Anyhoo, this blog is just to share my feelings day in and out of being a mommy...however, some posts won't even be related to being a mother. ♫It's my prerogative...I can do what I wanna do!♫
I've had the responsibilities of a mommy for the past 9 months. Yep, from the day I confirmed by daughter was on the way, I've had to take care of me and her, make decisions that would affect both of us, and use better judgement for her sake. I've now had some practice, and I can say, I'm proud and amazed at the diamond that has been created during this time of pressure.
God has rebuilt what I thought was torn down, reaffirmed me, and reminded me that my mistakes don't make me less of anything. It just gives Him another opportunity to show His greatness in my life. I am an over comer; I always have been, through Jesus Christ.
So, all in all, I am ready! Ready to walk in purpose....yep, motherhood definitely gives me a distinct purpose in life. No, that's not "all" I am purposed to be, but for now, I will focus my energies into building a solid foundation for my daughter's new life into this ever-changing world!
Until next time; if you change your perspective, you'll change your life!
Ready for what, you say?
Ready to meet this little one inside of me, ready to take on the challenge of labor, ready to hand over any thought of attention to her, ready to clean up messes, ready to be overwhelmed with pride, joy, love, and maybe even disappointment sometimes. In a nutshell, I am ready to share my world.
I could not have said that this time last year or the year before that...I was definitely not in a place to completely share my world...the most people got were bits and pieces when it was convenient for me...*This is the part where the picture becomes like water, indicating a memory is about to be replayed*
This time in 2010 I was having the time of my life in South Korea! I was living it up, as they say. I was a card-carrying member of the Rainbow Coalition (if you are privy you know how WE do). This time last year, I was planning my next adventure...and starring in my very own reality TV show (ya know the kind that we find out later is staged?) LOL.
Do I miss it? Well, duh! Would I trade in my current situation to go back? In a heartbeat. Do I regret where I am now? Absolutely not!
Although I have embraced and really gotten used to the fact that I will soon (as in less than a week, hopefully) be a full-time, single mommy, I do not dare seek asylum behind the thought process of "I wouldn't trade it for the world!" I can't stand to hear people say that. Yes, the amazing person inside of me has brought me to a higher place in life; mentally, but my more matured mind also acknowledges that if I could have it any other way, this is not how I would craft my life right now.
If anything, I'd ask for a do-over and do things the right way...i.e. love, marriage, baby carriage. But even more than that, I'd first be heading "back" to another country to see more of the world, and experience more adventures. The difference in my current adventure is that I don't get to choose to leave; I'm a mommy, and will forever be a mommy. Not the worst thing I could be right? Some things come to mind like, crack-whore, bum, liar, pessimistic, narcissistic, etc. LOL.
Anyhoo, this blog is just to share my feelings day in and out of being a mommy...however, some posts won't even be related to being a mother. ♫It's my prerogative...I can do what I wanna do!♫
I've had the responsibilities of a mommy for the past 9 months. Yep, from the day I confirmed by daughter was on the way, I've had to take care of me and her, make decisions that would affect both of us, and use better judgement for her sake. I've now had some practice, and I can say, I'm proud and amazed at the diamond that has been created during this time of pressure.
God has rebuilt what I thought was torn down, reaffirmed me, and reminded me that my mistakes don't make me less of anything. It just gives Him another opportunity to show His greatness in my life. I am an over comer; I always have been, through Jesus Christ.
So, all in all, I am ready! Ready to walk in purpose....yep, motherhood definitely gives me a distinct purpose in life. No, that's not "all" I am purposed to be, but for now, I will focus my energies into building a solid foundation for my daughter's new life into this ever-changing world!
Until next time; if you change your perspective, you'll change your life!
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